I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Randomize
