Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
