i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
