If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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