this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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