i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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