im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
as a side note pls kill me
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
