My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
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