I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
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