I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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