Porn is love you can see.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
