I hope mine doesn't look like that
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
