Can i not drive my cunt home
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
