You're so nebulous sometimes
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Is it because I queefed?
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
