I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
