yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Randomize
