i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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