This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
