you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
