Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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