If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
