we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
I just gift wrapped bread.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
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