So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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