Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
