Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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