I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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