I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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