i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
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