dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Randomize
