dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
we're so committed to being not committed
Randomize
