Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
