your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
