we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Randomize
