you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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