wakey wakey hands off snakey
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
