Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Randomize
