I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Randomize
