Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Randomize
