Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Randomize
