also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
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