I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
