So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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