watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
