Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
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