is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Randomize
