Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
