Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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