I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Screwed.edu
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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