Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
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