I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
be right there i have to get my cape
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Randomize