My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
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