Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
my shit smells like andre
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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