I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
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