when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
