I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize