guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
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