theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
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