Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Randomize
